Being an Atheist

“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.” 
— Stephen Roberts


I didn’t wake up one morning and decide I was an atheist.

I have countless journals where I have written about enlightenment, soul searching and prayers. I blamed my imperfections and my bad luck on the crimes I created within my mind and I thanked God for all the good things he sent me. Years I would spend, searching for a sign to show me who to become. I was meant for something great. My imaginary friend would give me advice about relationships, what to order for dinner and a myriad of ways to save other people. Especially their souls. I thought I could see auras, sense if a person was bad, a drug addict or had the healing touch. God would bring me all I needed and… everything happened for a reason.

I spent most of my twenties thinking I knew all the answers. Like most twenty year old people I trusted in God’s plan. I wasn’t always like this. Growing up, I did not have a predominate religion to follow. My mother was kind of a Catholic, while my dad showed absolutely zero interest in any religion (and I am so grateful for that). My mom would pray to a little plastic statues of  saints while my dad played computer games.

The teachings of Christ weren’t where I learned how to be a virtuous person. Ultima 4: Quest of the Avatar taught me to be a virtuous person. Ultima 4 is a role playing game in which you become a virtuous warrior, bard or wizard. If you do anything bad, like steal or lie or kill the innocent, you lose part of your virtue. It sucked when you lost your virtue. You would have to repeat good deeds and in order to beat the game you would have to be a virtuous player. Needless to say, there was a lot of saving and reloading.

Christ would be introduced later with a Snickers.


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