Michele

Atheists are the most hated and mistrusted minority in the United States. The picture above shows North America and the percentage of people who identify with religion (expect Mexico) 1991, 1998, 2000, 2001.

Atheism is misunderstood. There is often a lack of understanding  about what it is to be an Atheist. Hiding from the facts and everyday current events because they aren’t to your liking and filling your head with rosy colored realities… is of course your choice. I am certainly not here to convert anyone. I challenge you to use your critical thinking to understand the world we all live in.

I realize to some the negativity towards atheism isn’t a shocker. Some of you may have stumbled across my page out of curiosity. While others are much like I was ten years ago, spiritual but not religious. Whatever the cause of your visit, I challenge you to escape from all dogma. If you happen to be a closeted atheist I encourage you to keep looking forward and finding people of like minds to share in your non-belief. I am lucky to have a partner who is, as I am, an atheist. There is a tremendous amount of literature on how to better understand what it is to be an atheist. I hope my blog reaches you in a positive and motivational way.

Growing up I thought an atheist was synonymous with the Antichrist or devil worship so I never thought much about becoming an atheist. My own misunderstandings got in the way of becoming a better educated person. Atheists don’t believe in witches, warlocks, and we certainly don’t believe in the devil. Their are no ghosts in our closets, no such things as phantoms or haunted houses, no magic incantation to cure cancer and no way to astrologically predict anyone’s personality. Superstition is a figment of the imagination. The supernatural experiences you hear about are delusions of one person’s  perceptions.  It is impossible to test any of the supernatural claims. The Amazing James Randi has offered a one million dollar cash prize to anyone who can prove the supernatural. If you think you are able to prove your psychic abilities, by all means please prove us wrong. I would be delighted to have some solid evidence to prove the existence of god, but there isn’t any.

Atheophobia is the fear, distrusts and/or hatred against atheist and atheism. Examples of atheophobia:

–anyone who believes atheist are without morals
–the belief atheist can’t have meaningful lives
–the claim atheist shouldn’t be allowed to express their beliefs in any way

Examples of discrimination towards non-believers:

-The Boy Scouts of America does not allow atheist to join
-In custody battles there are countless cases which favor the religious over the lack of indoctrination
-Several polls show 50% of Americans would not vote for a qualified presidential candidate if he or she were an atheist
–You’re deemed high risk if you are in the  military and don’t believe  in a god
-Here is a recent interview on Fox in regards to creating a atheist chaplain in the military, notice how negative the interviewer is and offended by the idea atheist need a chaplain type supporter within the military
– Atheist put to death for their non-belief in 13 countries

In America, eight states won’t allow an atheist to run for public office and in some cases sit on a jury.
Arkansas:
“No person who denies the being of a God shall hold any office in the civil departments of this State, nor be competent to testify as a witness in any Court.”
Maryland:
“That no religious test ought ever to be required as a qualification for any office of profit or trust in this State, other than a declaration of belief in the existence of God; nor shall the Legislature prescribe any other oath of office than the oath prescribed by this Constitution.”
Mississippi:
“No person who denies the existence of a Supreme Being shall hold any office in this state.”
North Carolina:
“The following persons shall be disqualified for office: First, any person who shall deny the being of Almighty God.”
Pennsylvania:
“No person who acknowledges the being of a God and a future state of rewards and punishments shall, on account of his religious sentiments, be disqualified to hold any office or place of trust or profit under this Commonwealth.”
South Carolina:
“No person who denies the existence of a Supreme Being shall hold any office under this Constitution.”
Tennessee:
“No person who denies the being of God, or a future state of rewards and punishments, shall hold any office in the civil department of this state.”
Texas:
“No religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office, or public trust, in this State; nor shall any one be excluded from holding office on account of his religious sentiments, provided he acknowledge the existence of a Supreme Being.”

I’ll end this post with something I found rather interesting in regards to atheist and prison thanks to a favorite friendly atheist website.

For a detailed looked on how this spreadsheet was compiled go here. Hemant Mehta writes the process in getting the percentage of atheists in prison by requesting the information the Federal Bureau of Prisons with the Freedom of Information Act.

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“If you talk to God, you are praying; If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.”

– Thomas Szasz

I was living in a  studio apartment in Tacoma, Washington. I was 22 and nothing was going my way. I had two jobs and another one on its way. I was planing on taking the Series 6 to sell insurance for Woodbury Financial. I was a server at Jillian’s in Tacoma and also working as a host at a casino called Freddie’s.

In 2001, I was a promising young all-nude entertainer at a local gentleman’s club. It was a wonderful job. Everyday I would learn something new about myself, compliments boosted my confidence, and I had the most money I’ve ever had. I was a spiritual guru trapped in a stripper’s body.

I was listening almost exclusively to Dr. Wayne Dyer and I wanted to motivate people. I wanted to give a little happiness to the lonely. Manifest your destiny! Everything happens for a reason. You get what you give. Everything was great until it wasn’t.

I was watching the news in the early morning when I saw a plane hit the second Trade Center tower. When I arrived to work a handful of regulars filled us in on the latest news. No one really knew what was happening. All the girls were worried. Everyone was worried. When people are in fear for war or the unexpected they don’t spend money on lap dances.

The hit was catastrophic to a new dancer’s career. I panicked. Interviewed for several positions at various locations and stopped dancing. It felt like more security, but I just spread myself out too thin. I was over-worked and under-paid.

After a few months of working I became muddled with depression. Maybe it was all the rain, but whatever it was I found myself alone in my studio searching for change. I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I was 22, and I needed to do something with my life. But what? Vegas was in the back of my mind, but I didn’t want to go alone. Tormented with not knowing what to do, I tossed and turned until I heard the Lord’s voice a voice in my head. “Go to Vegas.” And that’s all the confirmation I needed.

I was on the phone with my girlfriend, Joy, the next day. I gave my noticed of leave and never looked back. It was the best thing I’ve ever done.

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Think of a movie any movie.

– Justin West 

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“People cited violation of the First Amendment when a New Jersey schoolteacher asserted that evolution and the Big Bang are not scientific and that Noah’s Ark carried dinosaurs. This case is not about the need to separate church and state; its about the need to separate ignorant, scientifically illiterate people from the ranks of teachers.”

– Neil Degrasse Tyson

When one takes the time to compare scientific evidence with the bible, the arguments for religion loses its validity. Growing up without easy access to the Internet made it difficult, but today we have Google and Wikipedia. More and more people are learning about the history of our existence and the origin of belief as our technology advances. Most religions can be looked up and researched by using the Internet.

Growing up in the 1990’s, I wanted to figure the right way to live but I didn’t have the proper access to knowledge. I assumed that there must be a god, and I sought out finding the right god instead of entertaining the idea of no-god. There is definitely a negative connotation with the association of being an atheist and I didn’t want any part of it. But when I really understood what it meant to actually be an atheist I let go of religious fear.  It took me a long time to accept that there could be no god.

I know it can be hard to understand. Looking for answers, I went to church three times a week hoping my life would change. When that didn’t work I went to psychics thinking god had a plan for me, but I wasn’t understanding exactly what he wanted me to do. I went for months until I started learning to read tarot cards myself. I read countless pseudo-scientific books. Water energy. Rock powers. Speaking in tongues. God loved me, this I knew, but as for my destiny I waited for it… crediting god for any good fortunes that would come my way.

I was scared when I let god go at first. I thought something bad would happen to me. Then I realized how dependent I was to god’s plan. The actual idea god having a plan for me. I started doing things because it was something I genuinely wanted to do instead of waiting for divine intervention. In the past I would constantly curse myself for not understanding god’s divination. I’d talk to myself a lot. Pray for help. Look for signs. Anything which wasn’t easily explainable I attributed to god. It became natural for me to believe god had a hand in everything. The weather = god, my great cup of coffee = god, traffic = god… I had forgotten what it was like without god because I had been entrenched in the idea of doing the right thing for god instead of doing things for myself. I started believing I have a plan for myself.

What an epiphany to let the idea of god go and do things because I wanted to. I was amazed by the lack of guilt I had for  just being human. I let go of the feeling of being constantly watched and I became free. I realized god didn’t make me the person I am. The people around me, the books I read, and the decisions I made defined me. The gods from my imagination were left behind and now I had room to grow.

Holy Shit. I was free.

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“There are ideas within Buddhism that are so incredible as to render the dogma of the virgin birth plausible by comparison.”

– Sam Harris

1998 was an amazing year. I had turned 18, got rid of the crazy boyfriend and I was going to Hawaii for a week with my mentor. Jackie was a wonderful person to invite two teenagers into her home and made it her mission to make sure I used the “vision” and “gifts” I had.

On our way to Hawaii I read a book about Buddhism provided by the airline. By the time we had landed in Hawaii I was converted. I was suppose to be a Buddhist!

Hawaii is an amazing place to visit. People from all over the world live there. The International Market place was filled with booths, many of the vendors selling similar items and they were all ready to make a deal. I got a silver ring from a fast-talking Japanese woman. Beaches are like nothing I’ve ever seen in the States. I spent a day snorkeling and being one with the fish… until an ugly one bit me. I communed with nature and paid my respects to those lost at Pearl Harbor. I was reborn. I knew I was suppose to be in Hawaii. We learned about pineapples from the Dole plantation. We had good karma.  We even picked up a hitchhiker.

In bed, I would wonder about my past lives and wonder who I would be in my next. I would attribute all of my bad luck and decisions to karma from a past self. I must have been a real asshole. But in this life I had a chance to balance my karma out. I was aware. I was enlightened.

We located a beautiful Buddhist temple with gardens and koi fish ponds. It was breathtaking. I approached the main temple building and removed my shoes. A funny thought run through my head… What if Buddha broke my camera?

Then it happened. I pointed my cheap disposable camera at the Buddha statue to take a picture.

My camera broke.

I believed something magical happened to me, but I didn’t get rid of any of my worldly possessions when I got back to the mainland. Instead I started finding meaning in meaningless things. Worst of all, I started believing other people had past lives and the reason they had bad experiences was because… you know, karma.

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“You believe in a book which has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd, and primitive stories; and you say that I am the one who is mentally ill?”

–Dan Barker

My friends would start calling me a devil worshiper because I had the desire to learn about pagans, magic, horoscopes and tarot cards. I really wanted to believe at the tender age of 13 I was magical. I played with the Ouija board, and it worked! I wanted to have the power of foresight. On hunches, I would predict strange things like packages arriving in the mail. My friends would be in fear if I happened to predict correctly. I thought I could have outer body experiences. I try to go into lucid dreams to fly to different realms.  I started praying to the Greek Gods.  Going through adolescence and being insecure, I would pray to the goddess Aphrodite (Venus), asking her for luck in love and beauty. I would ask Athena to give me bravery to do the right things in sports and I would pray to Jesus every once in awhile to ask for forgiveness. Each god in my world had a specialization. I liked thanking the gods. I would go to the libraries and bookshops looking for spell books. I’d learn of the mother, maiden and the crone, Wicca, candle magick and other assorted occult specializations.  Superstition also ran deep into my thoughts. I always thought positive about everything because I believed positive things would manifest. New Age.

I didn’t openly express my beliefs because I didn’t identify with being any single type of religion. I did say stupid things like “blessed be,” “all is one,” and “God only gives you as much as you can take.” I believed I was a spiritual person. I read The Celestine Prophecy and ate my vegetables slow, I read Linda Goodman’s Star Signs and believed while I slumbered we spoke in numbers.

You can imagine how destructive this thought process was for a teenager, but I carried it with me into my mid twenties. It didn’t help that the people who I was hanging out with believed in the same spiritual voodoo. Constantly, I would meet people who believed they could sense evil spirits on people. One friend believed they were born with a black veil on their face… whatever that means. It was most unfortunate for her because she had a mother telling her she was evil throughout her entire life. My neighbor read tarot cards and my palm.  A strange world I found myself. My boyfriend at the time even had a tattoo of Mary Magdalene on his chest.

Surrounded by religious Juju and superstitious fervor, I found myself searching for more answers.

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“Don’t you know there ain’t no devil, it’s just god when he’s drunk.”

–Tom Waits

My friends and I  met the Devil on a Saturday night in 1993. We spent the night at Lisa’s house and Joanie finally had permission to hang out with us. I had decided to make a Ouija board out of plain paper and we used a glass lens as a makeshift movable indicator. In black marker, I wrote out the alphabet, numbers, hello and good-bye on the piece of paper. We placed our fingers on the lens and asked our first question.

“Who are you?”

The glass first moved in circular motions…  then stopped at 6, moved sharply away and then back to 6, and once more moved erratically then one last time at 6.

We were all delighted it had worked… but frightened… it worked. Continuing on, we wrote down each new message the board would reveal to us. It managed to shape our young minds to superstitious, god-fearing pseudo-psychics.  We grew tired of playing with the board eventually, but we never spoke about the science behind what really happened. Maybe it was a prank pulled off by one of the girls? Or perhaps another explanation is in order?

The Ouija phenomenon has been criticized by many scientists as a hoax related to the ideomotor response, which is a really cool reality. Basically, we unconsciously moved the indicator. Unlocking our collective unconscious with a piece of paper. Real science is so interesting.

A conscious prank or an unconscious misunderstanding… I just wish we had Wikipedia then and the winning lottery numbers for the next hundred years.

Meanwhile in 1993…

“Who are you?”

The glass moved over the letter and spelled D-E-V-I-L.

Then we promptly asked, “Who will we marry?”

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“I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity”

– Albert Einstein

My dad was US Navy sailor stationed on the USS Carl Vinson, aircraft carrier.  My mom was born on the island Mindanao, in the Philippines. When she was old enough, she would travel north to Manila and become a maid. She met my dad when he was stationed at US Naval Base Subic Bay. In 1991, it was closed and the Philippine government reopened in 1992 as the Subic Bay Freeport Zone. Three months before I was born, David Cosper and Luisa Ortega were married in 1979. I was born January 27, 1980 at 6:57 AM on a Sunday. I was 8 pounds  and 8 ounces.

Richard, my brother, was born December 29 of the same year, but on a Monday. In 1982, our family moved to America. My parents had a handful of military friends and we would often move from base to base. One of my dad’s friends was a real computer hack. His name was David, too, and he loved computers as much as my dad. He made a roller ball controller for his Commodore computer system to play pong with. I played pong on the PC for the first time. It was a bootleg version. Later my dad would have several bootleg versions of games like Defender, Zork, and Sundog. I loved watching my dad play Sundog. When my dad wasn’t overseas, he was playing on the computer or he was planing our next trip to Reno, Nevada. We had a Westfalia Van our parents would pack up on a Friday and we would be on the road to Reno right after school. It took my dad 4 hours to drive to Reno from Mountain View. When they got there, they would often leave us in the van in the parking lot. Richard, Cindy and I would wait until one of them emerged from the casino. Then they would take us out for pancakes, asked if we had seen mom or dad, then take us to Circus, Circus, hand us a roll of quarters each and tell us not to leave the arcade. For hours they would leave us, checking up on us and giving us more money until they ran out.       Circus, Circus is where I developed my love for Dirk, the Dragon Slayer, Gauntlet, Street Fighter, claw machines, pinball, and pancakes. After leaving us alone for hours, my parents would reward us with our face being painted.

One day while walking with my current boyfriend around downtown Las Vegas we ran across a sign.

“We Care About Your Children. Please don’t leave your kids unattended.” Especially in a parking lot in a van.

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“Man has never been the same since God died. He has taken it very hard.”

– Unknown 

I love Cyanide and Happiness.

I know this will offend lots of people. I think it is hilarious. Today was Easter and my Facebook friends let me know with status update like “He has Risen!” “Hallelujah!” “Praise onto Him!” and so on. I was somewhat disappointed I didn’t have many secular friends posting. I was REALLY disappointed I had so many believers as friends. Some who are a part of my family, some long time friends and other who lurk around unnoticed. I like to think some of the lurkers are atheist. It is difficult being an atheist when most of the people you grew up with are staunch Christians. I am sure I’ve lost lots of friends due to my secular posts. Just wanted to share my disappointment on my blog and encourage everyone to question everything… even the gods.  Be kind. Be funny. Be creative.

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“It ain’t the parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.”  
— Mark Twain 

The 1990’s would be a religious turning point for me. I found God in Science Camp and I  was traumatized by visions of Hell.

The school I was attending was planning a week long trip to a redwood forest campground in California. I was ecstatic about the trip.  All of the students who were going got a list of things to bring. My dad helped me pick out a poncho, sleeping bag and an assortment of other goodies. He was apprehensive about the trip, but I insisted I was old enough to go.

I love California redwoods. The trees seem to go up and up for miles. Banana slugs were everywhere. We learned about conservation and recycling. Our cabin counselor was an overweight redhead named Sherri. One night, after we had our daily activities, one of the girls wanted to hear stories of the gospel… Sherri agreed to tell us as long as we wouldn’t tell anyone. She explained that if we told anyone she would lose her job. I wanted to hear this forbidden knowledge so I made no protest about hearing these stories. Then Sherri began to tell the five of us about Jesus and how he was crucified for our sins. I listened in my bed and fear crept within my 11-year-old mind. I started feeling guilty about Jesus dying for me. I was upset. I tried to hold back my tears, but Sherri could hear the muffled sounds of my sobs. The other girls took notice, too. I was embarrassed because I had never heard this story before. I knew I was saved, but I didn’t understand why Jesus died for me. I would shut me eyes really tight but all I could see was a dead man’s face bleeding from his head and staring back at me. They were saying all of this stuff was real. It wasn’t like the ghost stories I had heard before. I thought they were lying to me. I’ve seen scary movies, heard ghost stories but they were all fake. I was told they were fake, using mirrors and fake blood, no one really died.  Sherri hushed me and tried to comfort me. She explained I was born into sin, but god gave his only son to die on the cross so we don’t have to suffer for sin. She prayed with me.

Sherri paid a lot of attention to me after that night. She made sure I didn’t tell any of the other teachers or counselors. I was confused and stuck at camp. The other girls in my cabin were extra nice to me too. I think they felt bad for me not knowing the story of Jesus and how he rose from the dead. They would braid my hair and talk about god with authority.

When I returned home, I was a changed little girl. My dad knew something had happened but he didn’t know what. I would ask him in private about our family’s faith.  “Dad, what religion are we?” He was shocked by the question. “Well, Michele… your mom is Catholic and I don’t have a religion. But I believe in God.” He could tell I didn’t understand. “You see Michele, there are hundreds of different religions out there. You can pick any one you want.” And that was that.

Sherri kept in touch with me for a few months, sending me letters and calling occasionally. She sent me a pamphlet containing The Lord’s Prayer and she would pray with me on the phone. It felt strange and perverse. I eventually stopped taking her calls, but I still used the prayer she gave me.

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